Realistic Self-Care Strategies

The last post I made on this blog, “The Importance of Setting Boundaries,” introduced boundary setting, an important self-care tactic. Today’s post, “Realistic Self-Care Strategies,” consists of realistic self-care strategies that you can implement in order to make your life a little more enjoyable. 

Why is self-care so important? Well, the body you were born with is the body you will die with, hopefully many decades from now. I’ll ask you this question: Would you rather take care of your body, and be rewarded with decades of bliss? Or would you rather neglect your body and have decades of being miserable? I would take bliss over being miserable any day.

So, how exactly do you pursue bliss? If you turn to social media, while there are lots of great posts and videos about realistic self-care, you will likely see hundreds of videos of influencers getting fancy facials and spending days at the spa. Of course, these are some ways to take care of yourself, but there’s so much more to self-care than that. In this post, I will outline some realistic self-care strategies.

1. Breathing.

Breathing, of course, is not optional. But the way we go about doing this can make such a big difference in our mood. Imagine for a second, that you are being chased by something scary. For me, that’s Aragog the spider from Harry Potter. How do you breathe when being chased by something scary? For me, that’s short, shallow breaths. To relax and calm down, we want to do the exact opposite. Long, slow breaths are the way to go. Bonus points if you have a mantra to say or think about while you do it. I will never share what my own mantra is, but basically, my inhale is the first part of the mantra, and the exhale is the last part of the mantra. I have noticed that when I do the deep breathing alongside the mantra, my blood pressure is significantly lower. I proved this one day when I was at Urgent Care for a very embarrassing illness. I was sitting in the exam room getting my blood pressure taken. I did the mantra and breathing the entire time the blood pressure cuff was on my arm, and my blood pressure was the lowest it’s been in years!

For you all, I suggest practicing box breathing. To do box breathing, you inhale for a count of 4-6 seconds, hold for 4-6, exhale for 4-6, and hold again for 4-6 seconds. Repeat. This is just one of many breathing exercises I’ve been taught over the years. Of course, do whatever works for you! This is your life, and your self-care. 

2. Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is what its name suggests- using scents as therapy. I love a good scented candle or incense. I wear cologne almost every day, alongside my favorite scented deodorant. Aromatherapy is fairly easy to manage. All you have to do is find something smelly that you like, and smell it when you need to. The only thing to keep in mind when doing aromatherapy is that you need to be considerate of other people, especially if you live with roommates, or are utilizing scents at work or school. Some people are very sensitive to scents and can be made sick if they smell strong perfumes or essential oils. Some sources of scents that I suggest are essential oils, cologne or perfume, flowers, fruit, or incense. Relaxing scents include lavender, rosemary, ylang ylang, and cedar.

3. Exercise

This is an aspect of self-care that I personally struggle with, but would be remiss not to mention. Any form of exercise works, but in particular, cardiovascular exercise such as running, walking, swimming, or biking are ideal. A quick note on walking. Walking is a valid form of exercise. You may not work up as much of a sweat as you would running or biking, but moving your body in any way is better than nothing. Walking is more gentle than other forms of cardio, so if you have issues with your back, hips, and knees, walking is a great form of exercise to utilize.

4. Tea

Anyone who knows me knows that I love tea. Like, I’m obsessed. I would take tea over coffee any day- and I love coffee, too. The beauty of tea is that it is so versatile! Tired? Drink black or green tea for an energy boost. Trying to fall asleep? Drink chamomile tea to relax. Upset stomach? Drink peppermint or ginger tea to help with indigestion or nausea. I could go on all day about different teas for different situations. Tea is a fantastic vehicle for relaxation. Even tea with caffeine in it can relax you, unlike coffee, which while tasting amazing, just makes your anxiety skyrocket. A cup of tea can change the whole mood of the day, and I cannot recommend it enough to integrate into your self-care routine. 

5. Hygiene 

When one is mentally ill, myself included, keeping up with personal hygiene can be difficult. But, focusing on personal hygiene can make you feel so much better. When I’m feeling shitty, I take what I call an “everything” shower. This is a concept I learned from Tik Tok. For me, an everything shower involves washing my body twice, exfoliating, shampooing twice, conditioning my hair, and doing a face mask and washing my face. Obviously, what I like to do in the shower may not be what you like to do in the shower. But if you’re looking for something new to try, I suggest starting here. Like I said before, social media like Tik Tok is a great place to look for ideas. If you can, I suggest getting good quality shower and hygiene products. You don’t need to break the bank, but investing in better quality and slightly more pricey hygiene products, you will reap the benefits. For example, my skin is very sensitive, so investing in sensitive skin products have worked wonders for the health of my skin. Investing in your hygiene is investing in yourself. One last note on hygiene, investing in a good, fragrance-free body lotion such as CereVe or Vanicream is one of the best things you can do for the health of your skin. No one wants to be dry and crusty!

6. Sleep

Next to hygiene, having a solid sleep schedule is one of the most important things to focus on, not only for your mental health, but also your physical health. Humans HAVE TO sleep. We are hardwired to go to sleep every night. You can actually die if you go more than a few days without sleeping. For me, my mental health is so greatly dependent on the quality and duration of my sleep from the night before. 

Like I’ve said in previous posts, I’ve been prescribed all manner of sleep aids. I hope one day to be able to consistently sleep without sleep aids. Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone that many people take to assist with sleep. I’ve taken it before, but I have found that taking melatonin gives me absolutely horrifying nightmares. Ambien is a commonly prescribed sleep aid as well. If you haven’t read my previous post, “A Cautionary Tale About Ambien,” I suggest checking it out. The sleep aid I regularly take now is called clonidine. Clonidine is actually a blood pressure medication, but is used as a sleep aid because of its sedating qualities. I really like it, actually! It is fast acting, and keeps me asleep. I do not experience grogginess the next day, which is a common problem when taking sleep aids. If you need help falling asleep and can’t get a prescription, I highly recommend the “Sleepytime Extra” tea by Celestial Seasonings. This tea contains valerian root, a natural sleep aid. Be careful with this- it will knock you out! 

Something else that assists with sleep is what I call “setting the scene.” If you can, get a window a/c unit and/or a fan. It is much easier to fall asleep when the room is on the cooler side. I also recommend investing both in a high quality mattress and pillows, and good sheets. We spend like a third of our lives sleeping. Therefore, the area where you sleep should be pretty nice. If you aren’t into sleeping with a fan or a/c, I recommend that you get a white noise machine. That way, you aren’t just laying there in silence all night long. And finally, it’s important that your room is dark. You can either invest in blackout curtains, or get an eye mask. I recently got an eye mask, and it has worked wonders. 

7. Unplugging from technology

We are so connected to our technology these days- specifically our phones. This is not a good thing, in my opinion. I’m sure we all know some “ipad kids”- children that are constantly glued to their screens. Simply put, we need to set some boundaries with our screens. In the college courses I teach, I have an extra credit assignment which involves taking 24 hours without screens and technology. No phone, no computer, no TV, no ipad. It’s a daunting task at first, but from reading the responses from the students that choose to do this assignment, they end up really liking it! I usually try, every 7-10 days if I can, to take 24 hours away from technology. It serves as a “reset” day, where I spend my time reading, listening to records from my collection, cleaning, playing musical instruments, and spending time with my pets. 

I’m not saying that we need to cut technology out of our lives forever- these days, that’s simply impossible. But we can set screen time limits and set boundaries, such as not checking our emails after 5pm and on the weekends. If you have children, I think that’s a different story. In my opinion, children under 12 should not have cell phones, and should have very strict limits on ipad time. It absolutely infuriates me when I see my younger cousins sitting in silence, glued, and unblinking, on their phones and ipads. My 12 year old cousin and my aunt visited last summer, and, good god I was *this* close to snatching my cousin’s phone and throwing it into the ocean. He was so rude. He traveled all this way to visit, and we were visiting one of the most beautiful places on the earth- the Oregon coast, and all he wanted to do was stare at his phone. 

Maybe some of you older Gen Z-er’s can identify with this, but I grew up playing outside with my friends. Even when I was a teenager, my friends and I would be outside from 10am to 9pm at night, only coming in for bathroom breaks and meals. It was so much fun, and it’s a shame that kids these days don’t get to do that. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Anyway, rant over. What I am trying to get at is that as fun as technology and social media can be, it can be really detrimental to our physical and mental health. We need boundaries. 

In conclusion, there are so many realistic self-care acts we can take to make our lives a little more bearable. This list is by no means exhaustive, and I’m sure that you will find strategies of your own that will work really well for you! Remember, the best way to help others is to help yourself. Putting yourself first is a great act of love and care, and goes miles towards improving your mental health. 

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