My Scientifically and Personally Backed Rant about “iPad Kids”

I’ve found a new Tik Tok rabbit hole that is both infuriating, fascinating, and hilarious at the same time: so-called “ipad kids” getting their devices taken away, and the logic behind parents using technology as a baby sitter.

If you’ve read this particular blog for any stretch of time, you will know that I do not have kids, don’t want kids, and will do literally anything in my power to avoid even interacting with kids. So, obviously, I’m not privy to the intricacies of child-rearing. However, one of my cousins is an ipad kid- at least he was the last time I spent time with him. Notice how I said “I spent time with him,” not, “we spent time together.” The last time I saw him, we did not spend time together. What actually happened was that I sat across from him in a rustic-style restaurant across the street from the coast and tried to make small talk, while he wouldn’t even look at me. All of his attention was on his brand new iphone. He didn’t even put down the phone to order his food. 

Meanwhile, every once in a while his grandmother would gently say, “put down the phone,” to no effect. After he picked at his chicken nuggets and mac and cheese while scrolling, we walked across the street to look at the water. Nothing changed. We were in one of the most beautiful places on earth, and this kid thought scrolling was more interesting. It took every single bit of my self-control to not snatch the phone out of his hand and throw it into the ocean. Not only because he was being a little shit by being not in the moment with us, not only because he flat out refused to take a look at the beautiful Oregon Coast, but also because I took a whole day off of work to spend time with him- and all he wanted to do was scroll on his stupid phone. I could have been making money and not have wasted a full tank of gas driving to the coast. I felt bad for his grandmother and parents. They spent probably over $1000 to fly him across the country only to have him scroll on his phone in a different location. What also pissed me off about the whole situation was that his own grandmother wouldn’t grow a spine and tell him to put the fucking phone away. Or, which would have likely been more satisfying, take the damn thing away. 

Now, when I first started seeing videos and articles of situations such as this, it was easy to place the blame on the children. However, it truly is the parents. Let me ask you this: Who the fuck is working and earning enough of an income to purchase an ipad and one of those massive, stupid looking cases? Who the fuck is then getting in the car, driving to Best Buy, going into the store, physically picking up the ipad and case, going to the cash register, taking out your debit card, entering your PIN and completing the transaction? I’m sorry, parents, but it’s all on you, baby! 

What are the effects of giving young children ipads and smartphones? To give you a short list, you can expect technology addiction (that’s a real thing!) and withdrawal, decreased social skills/difficulty socializing, decreased creativity, increased tantrums, eye strain, lack of attention/focus, emotional outbursts and trouble at school, and lack of fine motor skills, such as the pincer grasp that is required to hold a pencil. 

After talking to some friends who are teachers, and friends who are parents, a common theme I hear time and time again is boredom. What do I mean by this? Parents are afraid of having bored kids, yet teachers argue that boredom is such a healthy and necessary part of life. I’m sure you all can relate to this, but some of the most fun times I’ve ever had with my friends growing up is going from sitting around, bored, and then having a lightbulb moment and making up the most fun game ever! My parents would get my sister and I old refrigerator boxes and we would build forts, and make them into space ships and pretend we were in the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars. We would play with them until they fell apart. So much fun! It’s simply impossible to think that kids would take electronics over a good old cardboard box.

I honestly feel bad for kids that grow up without playing outside, running around the neighborhood from dawn to dusk. Why don’t parents want that for their kids? Why would they rather have them sitting inside all day with a screen inches away from their face? Parents have been raising successful, well mannered kids without ipads since the dawn of humanity. Parenting has changed a lot over time, no doubt. However, the amount of times I’ve seen and heard about young children pitching fits in public places, at home, and at school over their devices- and just over minor inconveniences makes me wonder what is going wrong. Of course, there can definitely be other factors at play, such as a disability of some sort. But able-bodied, run-of-the-mill kids (for lack of a better term) should not be running around a restaurant screaming, they should not be having technology at mealtimes to make them shut up and behave, and kids should absolutely be playing outside more. 

Now, the article up until now may have been infuriating to read if you are a parent. I mean, this man that doesn’t even like children, and certainly has none of his own is ranting about how annoying ipad kids are and how it’s the parents’ fault that they are that way. You’re probably a bit (or very) mad at me. That’s totally fair. However, I believe all that I previously said is true. I used objective observation, as well as looking up scientific articles, and talking to people that are working and living with these children directly. I also know that all kids are different! Things that work for one kid can send another kid into a full-blown meltdown. But, based on the research, I have come to the conclusion that 18 month old babies, three year olds, eight year olds- basically anyone under 12-13 should NOT have a personal ipad or smart device.