Most of My Mom’s Family Voted for Trump. Here’s How I feel About It.

A large part of my family lives in Florida and voted for Trump. I refuse to visit them. 

Unfortunately, I think this is a situation that many of us are familiar with today. All of my mother’s siblings, and all but a few of their kids voted for Trump. However, interestingly all of them seemed to “accept” me- my transgender identity, my and my sister’s mixed race, and my mental health status as a schizophrenic, and yet, voted for and continue to support someone who actively oppresses, openly hates, and is systematically disenfranchising those groups. 

So, starting with the most recent election results, I decided that I would not be visiting them again. Ever. While immediately relieving that I would not be surrounding myself with hateful bigots, there are so many downfalls. The biggest being that I will likely never see my grandmother again, who on a couple of occasions denounced Trump despite voting for him. My grandmother, who is in her 80’s and has moderately severe dementia, has never once deadnamed or misgendered me, despite my uncle doing so all the time. I cherish our phone calls, because one of these days, I will have spoken to someone for the last time that despite being a lifelong Republican, old-school, Italian Catholic from New Jersey, has truly come to accept me as I am. If she ever did judge me, she never did so openly. I feared coming out to her the most, yet I got one of the most open-minded, supportive and loving responses I have ever gotten from anyone. 

My mother’s sister, my Aunt, was another relationship that hurt to sever. She voted for Trump both times. Whenever I’ve visited her in the past, she seemingly welcomed me with open arms, and we get along like peas and carrots, but her voting choices suggest differently. This sentiment goes out to her sons- my cousins, and their really fun and cool wives. All seemed supportive of my transition, but voted for the man who not only objectifies and assaults women (one of my cousins semi-recently had twin daughters), but weaponizes his “gender ideology” in order to silence trans voices and take away rights transgender people have fought to the death in order to gain. As much as I want to be around my Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and their kids, I have to remember the disgusting stance they took at the polls this time around. 

I’m sure there are many of us throughout this country who have had to make similar decisions, who have had to discern who their real family is. I grieve for my younger cousins and also their parents, who, at some point will have to explain how they voted for a rapist and felon for a terrible excuse for a president. What if one of their kids is transgender? What if one of their kids has a mental health condition? What if, God forbid, one of them survives a sexual assault? I grieve for my two younger cousins that one day may turn into young men, and only have a racist and a bigot for a role model- backed by their parents’ choices in the polls. I grieve for my younger cousins that one day may turn out to be young women, asking their mother and father why they voted for a man who said, “grab them by the pussy” when referring to women. 

Is our president seriously someone you’d trust around your daughter? Would he “grab them by the pussy?” Or your son? Would he try to indoctrinate your son into ICE? Would he tell your son to beat up a trans kid? Or a Black kid? Or would he tell him to take an “illegal” away from their family?

If the family that I am talking about is reading this, you may think I’m overly dramatic, or grasping at straws. But this is the man you chose to support with your vote. You chose to back a convicted felon, racist, rapist, and bigot. All for what? Cheaper groceries? (Did that happen?) A white, cisgender, Christian, heterosexual America? Either way, your disgusting actions resulted in a severance not only in our relationship, which I deeply cherished, but in the budding relationship with your children, whom I love too. I hope to someday be reunited, with each of us learning through our mistakes in this difficult time. I love all of you, and I miss you. But I will not put myself in danger while you still support Trump and his evil ideologies.